You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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