how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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