If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
