so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
