two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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