mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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