just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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