I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
