Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
