how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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