wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
