My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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