Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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