loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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