There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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