my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
