we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
