I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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