I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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