i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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