wat bout pragnant strippers??
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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