We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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