It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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