she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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