sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
