I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
