She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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