I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
