whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
