weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
there is glitter all over my balls
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize