i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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