We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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