Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
