I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
