That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
