I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
