Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
