this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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