So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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