I hope mine doesn't look like that
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
