my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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