Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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