Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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