He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
