You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
