I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Randomize
