dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
