when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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