Its about making memories worth repressing
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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