I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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