The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize