I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
