But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
