he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
