I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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