id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize