That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
