it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
