she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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