So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
