Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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