So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
