Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
