The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
