There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
