did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
